Cycle Day 6… What is going through my head

Hi there. This is Cycle Day 6 for me and Day 4 of Clomid. Tomorrow evening I start the Gonal-F belly injections.

At first I thought I wasn’t having Clomid side effects but when I really examined how I’m feeling I realized I most definitely am. Symptom 1: emotional. Holy hell. Let me give you this little analogy, on Friday morning (CD5) I had to call in to work and pretend I had an appointment and would be late because I. couldn’t. stop. crying.

It all started in the shower. We are house hunting in our new city and recently got approved for a mortgage – exciting! But in the shower I started thinking “why are we spending ALL this money on a big house that we can’t even fill with a family?!” and then I started bawling and couldn’t stop.

It’s almost kind of funny now (to me) but at the time it felt very devastating. It’s also not like me to get quite so emotional so I was like what the heck? But then I remembered the Clomid, and being emotional / crazy is one of the main symptoms…

I’ve also had crazy bloating, at the end of the day and  hot flashes / night sweats, which could also be related to me being off my estrogen medication but is also a common side effect of Clomid.

Anyways, the other thing that is making me crazy right now is the Monday morning blood work. So because I live in a rural community my doctor is not going to have the results of my blood work until Tuesday afternoon. Also, Monday morning I will have only done one Gonal-F injection – that might not be enough to make the follicles grow! Especially with my slow moving ovaries! So I really want them to let me get blood work done either Mon – Thurs (yes every day!) next week OR at the very least Monday and Wednesday. I sent a frantic email to the nurse this afternoon requesting that and at the end of the email apologized for being Clomid crazy… So we will see what she says.

I’m just freaking out that they are going to call it quits on my body after only a couple of injections, when for some women with POF they have to stim (fertility talk for the injections) for 14+ days! I know my doctor is concerned about wasting our money, but I can make more money, I’m more concerned about losing out on an opportunity to use my OWN eggs for a baby.

I recently found this amazing instagram account, she also has POF, and her and her husband did THREE egg retrievals to get five little frozen embryos. I’ve been messaging with her about all the medications she used and it was a lot, some days she had to do four injections, so I just really don’t want my doctor to give up on me after 6 measly days of injections!

Anyways, that’s kind of where I’m at right now. Will check back in after the injection tomorrow night!

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2 thoughts on “Cycle Day 6… What is going through my head

  1. I hope that your doctor is willing to do more blood draws than just the one on Monday! I’m glad you’ve met other people with POF that you can talk to and find out what their protocol was so it gives you ideas of things you could suggest or do differently. Maybe if you aren’t happy with this doctor, you can try to work with one in Vancouver for the next round and try to talk to some patients that have worked with them to see what their protocol is? Or maybe their offices can tell you what their protocol is so you can factor that into which doctor you end up seeing?

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  2. I am sure hugs and saying that I’m thinking of you doesn’t help much, but I am. I am also proud of you for advocating for yourself & your husband, you know what you want and you aren’t afraid to ask for it. I hope the doc lets you do an additional round if you want (or maybe you can find another one who will try if this one won’t, if that’s what you want to do). I admire your strength and grace during all of this- tears, emotions and etc. xoxox

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